it's 1.08am, a real emo night for me..

if i were given a gift from God.. i want a true friend. idk how to define true friend, i dun have one.. i thought she was, but somehow..

i cry a lot recently.. but who cares

*crying right now in front of the computer.. it's midnight 12.42am. so what? no one will ask why, no one cares.. when my true friend appears and realises, it may be too late.

p/s im giving too much. did i? should i?

IM NOT AN ACTIVE BLOGGER.. so what?! xp

tonight seems bit weird for me.. for no special reasons, many things came across me.. many question marks appear.. they are questions, yet there won't be exact answers.

im growing up, so it's quite normal to think about it.. i came across these when i was still a kid too.

what happen after some one dies?
is there any heaven and hell? is there any reborn?
how will i be if my mum din get pregnant last time? do i still existing in this world?
when im going to die?
will i still got feelings after im dead? is the 'I' still existing?
why some people die so young with all dreams not fulfilled?
why not every one has the chance to enjoy the life till old?
is it that if i appreciate life i can live a bit longer?

sigh. i spent the whole night thinking stuffs like these.. :S

i actually asked lei voon about that, but.. LOL! she din really answer my doubts.

well, i cried.. whenever i think of all problems when i go for national service, my tears start to struggle.. especially when i know im going to lost contact with you for some time.. even im allowed to use phone, i cant sms you everyday like what im practising for monthsssss.. TT

yup, im selected.. im quite looking forward to it actually.. but not when all those problems come across my mind.

kay.. shall blog something. even no one is reading or idk what to blog on.. Im going to abandon it if I dont force myself to write something. :S

just finished watching germany vs argentina match and it ended up with so unpredictable, 4-0 that's terrible.. not sure whether it's 3 or 4..

err.. okay. I'll blog randomly this post.

school was okay so far.. but undeniable Im not as happy as last last time.. hmm. homework is piling up as usual.. and I wonder when will all koko stop for form5s?

having some skin allergy problem recently.. I cant stand it and gona see skin specialist soon probably :(

and my eyes too.. seriously, I CANT CRY TOO MUCH ANYMORE. the pain in my eyes suckss to hell. I dont suffer that after crying last time.. sigh. should cut down time online as well.. computers worsen my eyes.

realized Im not a good friend recently.. it's a reflection of friends Im having around.. haiz. but after all, I think I deserve a true friend too right?