there isn't any before and after

I have many things to say.. but idk how to start and how to end as these things have no ending.. this is my last year in high school, most probably, I hope I can leave amc with all indelible memories, especially memories with all 5s6 classmates and other besties. but seems this simple hope which can actually be fulfilled easily cracks into pieces. no peace anymore I know. I've been quite happy recently, supposed.. but things that happened in between really put me in trouble and make me frustrating all days. actually I don't really care until I saw 'the heart of yours changed'.. I know very well it's referring me.. but what to do? DEEP IN MY HEART I KNOW I DIDN'T. sometimes, to find some one who understand you is a task or should I say something impossible.. so, just let it. don't care, don't ask, pretend to be stupid, act as if I dk everything is the best way right? is the only way too.

I won't care about others, as long as I have YOU as my friend, I think I should be grateful. we don't value on number of friends we have, but how sincere your friend is. one true friend is way far than a bunch of normal friends.. may be they don't und me, but true friends will und eventually..right? hopefully they are.. keep my finger cross *actually idk what it means, people use it when they are hoping of something which can be achieve or cannot be achieve right?

aiya.. I really tak larat to care dy.. I cry when I care something too much.. I shouldn't cry when problems arise. if these thing ditakdirkan to be solved, then it'll be fine. otherwise, cry till blind also useless. lol. lesson learned..

suddenly i remember a line, something like 'i m still a malay, not much difference from you' in si tenggang. I should say I AM STILL ME, THE ONE BEFORE, NOT MUCH DIFFERENCE FROM THE OLD ME, is you all who don't understand what I really want from a friend..

my last post at blogger was on the 6th apr, which means I'd quite some time didn't post anything.. xD it doesn't mean I din enter blogger, I sign in every time I online.. to view people's blog, especially those who had privatised their blogs. but I din enter mine.. haha. nothing interesting to read on and don't feel like posting anything and so....

school life is as usual, school>tuitions>homework is my daily routine.. but nowadays idk what's happening on me, I feel sleepy extremely easy and I can hardly concentrate in homework after school. I can focus during lessons, but not while doing homework at home.. sigh. my house environment not conducive enough arh.. even coffee and tea make no different. =[ I afraid that I can't stay up late dy.. as such, how am I going to burn midnight oil during exam? TT sometimes I even sleep in school while there is no teaching. it's not the way I practised laa.. haixxxxx. my mum let me try different different soup eg. chicken soup, but seems not berkesan at all.

besides that, everything is fine. lol. actually, I am quite happy recently... :))) heeeees. you know, I found a very good friend, one who..........., one who................, one who.................

kay. byez

the last post was half a month ++ ago.. my comp kena virus dy, and it sent for repair for more than 2 weeks. sigh.. and now finally it's back again. as what I wrote in fb, some how I rather I don't online.. when I switch on the comp, I won't forget to sign in blogger and start to read people's posts.. and that's the time when I find out many things which I not supposed to know? which I don't know? which I don't hope to know.. I saw a post of one of my friend just now, and it was... something I don't hope to see. sigh. emo now :(

anyway, it's quite impossible for me to blog on what had happened throughout this two weeks.. too much things happen? idk. but of course there's some sweet moments~~ lol. since our lives nowadays is so complicated, just forget the saddening part and let those great ones be memories forever..

may be I'll blog some one day.. haha.