a long post of craps

i remember i mentioned things like blogging less means i'm more happier, it's not for now. i din blog for a week more i guess but this doesn't show i'm more happier nor less emo etc. i was sick past 2 days.. i even facebookng less so, yea.. anyway. i've nothing much to blog but to tell blogspot, i'm still as emo as before. i meant things never change into any better. maybe they do but i don't realize.. anyway, audrey definitely makes me feel better these day. having a best friend is more than enough. seriously. after all, i have more than one :D yea.. high school friends rocks.

i remember before coming back to kl xin ci texted me about take care stuff and one line i won't forget: 'dun emo and imba dy' HAHAH.. true! hopefully la. hahah.. erm. yea, kinda imba this day, same old problem.

and what audrey posted on my fb wall, 'don't depend too much on anyone in this world, because your shadow leaves you when you're in darkness' actually woke me up. this is the reality of life indeed! anyway, the touching part was the caption 'but you can depend on me (her)' you know. when you're about to cry and you see things like this from your bff, your tears will flow immediately not because of your problems but the best friendship with someone else.. and then you know, no matter how bad your life is right now, there's always someone.. besides your family. that's why. i never really think a bf for a girl is important maybe because i'm blessed with many good and genuine friends around, old friends esp :)

*****

my 19th birthday is coming real soon.. it'll be my first time in my life so far not getting to celebrate my birthday with family. it sounds a lil bit pathetic. :( and worse still my best friend and close ones are not with me.. seriously. i scared emo strikes me that day and i'll be having my 19th birthday in tears :'( i dont want! okay.. but i cannot expect everything in my life is just so perfect. never mind. as long as i don't care too much, i'll be less sensitive and small matters around me won't affect my mood. *hopefully*

p.s problems in my life are all caused by being too sensitive :/ i know my problems, not like i don't wanna get it over but.. but.. idk. maybe i haven't really gotten the sense of 'security' in life which shapes me this way. -.- sighhhhhhh strategy: keep myself busy all the time :D

daily promise: i'll be more and more happier over the time :) nwx today is always the happier one compares to the yesterday's. tomorrow will be better *wink*

actually right, i wonder my coursemates see a different (many differences) in me after i came back for sem 2. HAHAH. such a good ques before seeking for some comforts. -.- but i do realize people here are less-caring compare to those i have in high school. no offend anyway. *smiling all day long is no longer a symbol of happiness* and i think it's pretty obvious i'm less cheerful :/ and sorry for the long post. only emo people can produce a meaningless long post of craps like this.