:/

i want to talk about a friend today..
i knew her since form2, but i knew about her existance since primary school.. she's popular, pretty and clever. she's responsible as well. in f2, we din know each other much, she had her own gang and im like can't enter their circle. in f3, we were getting closer yet not very close.. i think our very first heart to heart conversation was in f4, when many relationship problems flooded her. i think it was the toughest time she ever met in secondary school life. she suffered a lot that period, about 6months? however, it was when she and i get closer and closer.. we chit chatted a lot that time and we were like so understand each other. i still remember there were a few continuous night she cried and phoned me. we had phone calling even till very late.. i really very pity her that time but now when i think back, i realised our best memories all built in that short period of time.. now...

im trying very hard to get closer with her nowadays but it seems i get nothing in return. i know we shouldn't hope for return after putting in effort in a friendship but somehow i just wish we can back like last time.. now she's like avoiding me and.. i feel like she isn't care about me anymore. some time ago i was in some trouble and she's one of my friends that i hope will come to me and listen to me. but.. im actually telling her 'hey! i need you, can you come to me' but sigh.. many things laa. idk what to say but.. i really feel very disappointed to her. she'll never see this and will not know how i feel towards her unless i talk to her and.. i will. i will write to her.. now we'd left our school, no longer be classmates and meet each other everyday. if i don't talk to her, our friendship will never improve.

* you'll never know how much i hurt when you are so close with my friends around but not me.